If you haven’t been on the Internet, then you’re the only person who doesn’t know about Ronda Rousey sharing how depressed she got after losing her fight to Holly Holm. During Ronda’s interview with Ellen, she stated how she considered ending her life because she didn’t know who she was after losing so publicly.
“What am I anymore if I’m not this?” Rousey said. “Literally sitting there thinking about killing myself. In that exact second, I’m like, ‘I’m nothing. What do I do anymore? No one gives a s— about me anymore without this.
The fact is that is that while this is extreme, suicidal thoughts, for those who are very focused on their fitness careers, goals, or aesthetic dreams; becoming depressed when losing “who you are” or not achieving it to begin with is common. Here are a few things you can take from her experience to help prevent the possibility of your own.
When Setting Fitness Goals, Decide Who You Are Without Them
When we set goals, we are often pulling them from our dreams and putting them on paper. “One day I will be…” or “Life will be good when…” is typically how we create the timelines for our lives. But the thing about life is that it just tends to happen. The question is, if X doesn’t happen, who will you still be without it? You’ll still be who you are and receive all the things you would, just maybe the six pack isn’t the reason you are that person.
Know How to Manage Setbacks
Take experiences from other parts of your life where you have felt failure. How did you handle those? Were you better suited to handle those because you felt mentally stronger in that area? Everyone has one area in their life where they tend to be a bit “weaker”, and a setback in that area tends to hit harder. There is nothing wrong with not being made of steel in all aspects of life, so know which parts need a bit extra padding and then use the tools you’ve implemented in the stronger parts of your life in the weaker parts. Before you know it, you’ll be handling setbacks so much better across the board.
Determine the Purpose of Your Goals
Those who have healthy goals already know that the goal doesn’t define them, it is the work that does. Maybe you say that you just want to live a healthier life, but you really are banking on losing those 15lbs so you can look a certain way. Why? What does that look get you? If you think a single goal will lead to a bounty of things happening for you (you lose weight, you catch the eye of the guy/girl you like, you date them, get married),then you’ve implemented the wrong goal. If you think one goal will be a cure all, then you’ll absolutely implode when it doesn’t work out. Plot out multiple goals (live a healthy life, be open to relationships, go on more dates, lift your self esteem) that only rely on you.
Believe in Yourself, But Remain Realistic
There is no critic quite like your internal voice. But, there is also no cheerleader like your internal voice either. You speak to yourself much more than any person speaks to you, so take care of your thoughts! Hype yourself up, believe in who you are, speak truth to your goals, but keep yourself realistic. Cheating on your diet with that bagel will not ruin you, so beating yourself up because you said you were going to be strict for 4 weeks straight isn’t healthy and that amount of time without a slip up isn’t realistic! Yes, a competitor will say, “I will never lose” but the professional will say, “I will do everything to be undefeated, and if I lose, I will learn something so I never lose the same way.” Realistic doesn’t mean building a ceiling on yourself, it just means knowing that the climb can be tiring.
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