This is it. This is what you’ve been given, it is what you have, it is what is. There have never been any promises, any guarantees, and most definitely no assurances. This is hard, it is life. And it has so many ranges and so many contrasts, and so many moments of glory…gloriously difficult and significant setbacks and rewards.
You have to make a decision, you have to decide what your next step will be and you have to live with it. Your heart will break and your soul will ache but you always have to find a way to accept it.
Your fear will dictate so many of your moves. The fear of failure, of failure after success, of failure after giving everything, of failure after failure…these will be the measures by which you judge yourself continuously because you’re a human being and we are built on the operating system of trail and error. If you can’t make a fire with wet sticks you try dry ones. We are built to circumvent the things that hurt, damaged, devastated, and broke us down before. We are human. We run when fight or flight pops up and we fight when we have no other option. Because, we are human.
But because we are human, we feel so deeply, dream so vividly, believe so blindly, and love so unconditionally. We are capable of pushing ourselves beyond what we thought possible not because we are superior, but because we have the mental capacity to limit ourselves to begin with. You can go beyond that. We allcan go beyond that. But we won’t because we don’t know what it looks like beyond that. Because maybe we imagine we’ve seen it before and it is difficult and scary and will call on us to fight.
Your heart will be broken. Your soul will be crushed. You will have moments of doubt that last 10 minutes to 10 years. You will become emotionally unstable at times and you will compound issues on top of issues and handle things immaturely or awkwardly or not at all and regret every single second of it. But, this is it. This is what you’ve been given, it is what you have, it is what is. You can put expensive things on it, you can put names around it, you can inject it and plastic it and manipulate it, but it will never change what is. You have 70 more years or 70 more days, no one knows. Are you going to spend those minutes downplaying valid feelings, talking yourself out of dreams, banishing hope, or erasing who you are? Are you going to spend that time building walls around what you’re capable of because you don’t think you can go beyond that? You can’t do another rep or make an extra dollar or be just a bit happier?! Who are you to decide your complexity should suffer in such a way, because your mentality believes your being deserves less?
Stop sabotaging your life. Stop sabotaging your happiness. Stop sabotaging this entire thing! Stop, and accept more. Stop, and deal more. Stop, and f*cking fight more.
For who you are and what you want. Try. Because this is it. And it only works if you try.